Funny Christmas Gifts for Chicken Lovers (Stocking, Ornament, Mug, Tee and More)
Anyone who keeps backyard chickens knows the look: a hen standing her ground, staring you down as if you're up to something. That's the whole joke behind this design. A very serious hen guards her basket of ornaments under the words "Don't Touch The Good Ornaments."
The same hen comes on six different things, from a $9.49 ornament up to a fleece throw blanket, so you can match the gift to your budget. Everything is printed to order, so check the order-by dates at the bottom.
Small gifts and stocking stuffers
A round ceramic ornament with a gold hanging cord. It's the smallest gift here, and it comes back out every December when the tree goes up. It works as a stocking stuffer or for an office ornament exchange.
The hen on an 11 oz ceramic mug, for the person who checks on the coop with a coffee in hand.
For the chicken keeper's Christmas morning
A Christmas stocking with a linen boot and a red and black plaid cuff, with the hen on the front. It's one size and roomy enough for plenty of small gifts. Spot clean only.
Something to wear
The hen on a Comfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed tee with a relaxed fit, for the chicken person who wants to wear the joke to the holiday party.
Funny Chicken Christmas Sweatshirt: Don't Touch The Good Ornaments Hen Crewneck
The same hen on a crewneck sweatshirt. It's the warmer pick for early-morning coop chores in December.
The big gift
Funny Chicken Christmas Blanket: Don't Touch The Good Ornaments Fleece Throw
A 50x60 inch polyester fleece throw, soft on both sides, with the hen printed across it. It's machine washable (cold, gentle cycle) and the most generous gift on this list.
Picking the right gift
- Not sure of their size? The ornament, mug, stocking and blanket have no sizes to guess.
- Under $20: the hen ornament and the hen mug, before shipping.
- A matching set: the ornament plus the stocking, so the hen is on the tree and on the mantel.
- Shirts and sweatshirts: the tee has a relaxed fit. Size up for a looser fit. The size picker on each product page shows every size, and larger sizes cost a bit more.
When to order
Everything here is printed after you order it. That takes 2–7 business days, plus carrier shipping time. To have it by Christmas (Friday, December 25), we suggest ordering by about December 7. That's a suggestion, not a guarantee. If it's for an earlier holiday party or gift exchange, order sooner. Carriers get slower in December, so earlier is better.
Shopping for other animal lovers? See our funny gifts for cat lovers, our funny Christmas gifts for dog lovers and our funny Christmas ornaments, where the hen has company.
Order-by suggestions (not guarantees): for Thanksgiving (Thu, Nov 26, 2026), order by about Nov 9 to be safe. For the first night of Hanukkah (Fri, Dec 4, 2026), order by about Nov 16. For Christmas (Fri, Dec 25), order by about Dec 7. Carriers get slower in December, so earlier is better.